John Yurek

So today was the funeral. It doesn't feel real. I know one of the things that always strikes me when a person dies at work is how they leave. It doesn't seem right how they slip away unnoticed, while the rest of the world just keeps going like nothing even happened. It always bothers me and sometimes I just want to scream. "My patient in room 325 just died! She was a person and now she gone...can we stop just for a second to morn????" But life is busy. We have the little nursery chimes for births at the hospital, but who wants to hear when someone dies?

Today was remarkable because I felt like the world did stop for a few moments to honor John...and he deserved it. (I still can't believe he is really gone...so young). As we left the service and started down the street in the funeral procession, my heart was touched. Cars slowed and stopped as we passed by...and it was a long row of cars. Buses and work vehicles on the opposite side of the road turned on their blinkers while pulling to the side of the road. It meant so much to me that these strangers, who didn’t even know John, would take a few minutes to honor him as they let us pass. This is an American tradition that I am proud of.

Marsh...why do you have to leave???

So there is this eminent grocery store down the road...the food is fresh and the BEST part is the amount of international food they carry. It's the perfect place for a midnight snack...buying food and then eating it right there at their coffee bar (especially for cravings of Japanese noodles or Cambert Cheese or European Pastries and Breads or some exotic drink). When you walk through the doors...there's a certain trance that can come over you as you fly from country to country all over the world. Yet, it is a ghost town. The only other customers in the store are the ones you bring with you. The ratio is often 1:10. No kidding! That is...until tonight. Yep, it was only a matter of time before the world market crashed...you see their prices are a bit steep. But now everything is 40% off! My Mom and I both LOVE international food, so off we went and wow did we have fun picking out all kinds of new foods and drinks. YUM! We inched through the store since I am a bargain shopper and my Mom loves to look at everything...cart getting heavier all the time. Good thing they closed at 8pm cause we would have been there all night! =0) Now we have exciting things to try and bake and make...plus other food to store. We are ready for that blizzard! Yes! Can't wait. Yum!

Raw

What can I say? The English vocabulary does not have enough depth or feeling to describe the thickness of emotion I felt around me today. Grief. Life never the same. Suddenly altered and there is nothing you can do about it. Doesn't feel real. “Dear God how can I help my friend and her family? Give me wisdom and help be to be self-less. Move through me and may your love guide me.”

Comfort. How? Give long hugs, can't help but cry with them. Listen and listen some more. Help make those mundane decisions...what color to buy, how many to get, when to eat and what looks best. Pointless. Fragile. Barely hanging on. Have you ever seen a person who is in so much grief that it manipulates the face? The person looks familiar, but yet agony is molded into the fragile skin. Distraught. Lost like a little child. How does life move on?

“Dear God…be with my friends! I know they barely know you. I think that makes this all the harder on them. May your presence be known and surround them with people who do know you and know you intimately. This pain…so up close and so personal, but Lord I know you are in control. Thank you that I CAN trust in you and I have no reason to fear. Let this truth ring free for this family too. Help them to continue to grieve and draw them closer to you. In Jesus Name”

Smiling SO BIG

Happy Valentine's Day to all of you out there! Today was an excellent day and sad too. You see, Steph left for China...it's a happy sad thing. We dropped her off at IWU and she leaves tomorrow from Indy. Wow!

But the rest of the day was a day to make a person smile...at least me. At International House, I feel like I am really getting to know the kids and I just love them so much. It is great to be teaching and I pray that God can use me effectively in their lives. Both Mohammads and Isra were there today along with Halima and her silent sister Isha. Halima is learning English well and when she comprends a new word, her face lights up. I could go on with many more kids…maybe some other time.


Tonight, though I think was the best! My cousin Jeff and I decided to give away flowers. You see his Aunt owns a flower shop and they throw away any flowers with the tiniest bit of imperfect. So we took some red roses and delivered them to people. So great! We went to friends’ houses and then ended up at Higher Grounds and Walmart where we just handed flowers to whoever we thought needed them. (We even dropped one off at the Pizza Hut drive through). It makes me so happy to see others smile and many seemed to really appreciate it. So satisfying and fun too! Oh yeah...if you are wondering what is on the top pic of Jeff and I...it's my Mom's hat!!! Opps! We thought it was funny.

xoxoxo

I don't know really what to type...this blog has been private for so long, but not anymore...but I think I am just going to act like it still is...k? I know I have things to say, just can't think of any right now.

I can't believe my little sister is leaving in just two days! Sad, yet excited for her! Proud...that's the emotion that dwells inside of me when I think of her...and also...so much LOVE. That girl is amazing! Sitting on her bed laughing and helping her pack. Sigh...good memories.

Dear God...how could you bless me with such a gift as Stephanie? More than words can say...you know the expression I feel inside as I say Thank you for your blessing of my sister.

People

Northrop High School. There's a stuffed bear in the two story lobby where I used to eat my lunch. The auditorium is near by. Musicals, band and orchestra performances...that's what I did there, but tonight there was a talent show. How many years has it been since I stepped through those doors? I don't know. I felt disgusted and heartbroken for what I saw. Talent show? No way! The songs and body movements of those kids were disturbing and provocative. What? Audience yelling and screaming. No respect. Huh? What do these teens know? I wonder how many of them claim to be Christian. Is it their culture? I was embarrassed for what I saw and walked out for a bit. I try to be informed and stay with the "real" world. That is one thing I loved about going to public schools...I lived outside of the "Christian bubble" and loved it. I don't get as many opportunities except at work now days and with a few friends who don't know Jesus, but tonight...it just made me want to cry. Is this what most teens get enjoyment out of? I wonder what they will do with their lives? Where are they going? Is hope something they even seek after? How many of them truly know who Jesus is and how do you reach them? Tears.

I guess it really isn't just at this school setting, that I see so much...atrocity. It really is everywhere. Lately I have been reading in 1 Samuel and now in 2 Samuel. To be honest, it makes me sick what I read and have really been mad at David and what he did! From killing innocent people to out right lying...I just got fed up! To me David is NOT a hero and I really struggle with parts of the Old Testament. I don't want to justify it or make up excuses for what happened trying to find reason behind the madness. (I think Christians do this too much!) Maybe there are reasons...but I don't know of any right now. However, there is one thing I know...man IS sinful. And that I see. As I talked to a friend, it became clear to me...really although we don't kill people as freely as it seems they did in David's day...we are just as sinful. The disappointment I feel at people that claim to be "Christians" and the frustrations I feel at Old Testament characters are actually similar...and really I too am a sinner. And maybe that is what makes David's story so amazing. He REALLY wasn't anyone special...and sinned deeply yet God still choose him to lead a nation and loved him despite the deeds done. Wow….

The Colts?

Well you see...I am really not a fan of football or for that matter sports in general. If I ever go to a game...it is more to hang out with friends than to actually see the game and if I ever watch the super bowl...it's for the commercials. I have a hard time sitting through the actual game, although I am getting better. Anyways...the other night Steph and I were shopping and once again there were tons of Colts items everywhere. I was like "I have never heard so much about the Colts until this year..." and Steph quickly informed me” that’s because they almost made it to the super bowl". "What?!" I finally got it and was excited and disappointed all in the same second...because somewhere deep inside of me...I guess there was a bit of Colts pride I wasn't even aware of...and then at the same second I knew that they had lost. "Maybe next year they will get a chance Stephanie?" I asked hopefully. So even though neither of us are real fans we decided to buy Colts ice cream to show our support (and because it was on sale and sounded good...yum! With whipped cream from the can on top!). So that's the story and here's the picture. That saddest part is once we got home...neither of us wanted ice cream anymore...so there it still sits in our freezer untouched.