My Amazing Sister

Stephanie is amazing...that is awe..ing. She has been through so much this semester and she still keeps going. I don't think I would have her strength. I wish I could help her. It breaks my heart. It is crying for her and makes me mad. I am that big sister and want to protect her. But thankfully God is by her side and for this I am grateful and she is learning and growing. As she continues to grow, she challenges me. How great is that? I know I am a better person because of Stephanie. I think she is definitely a gift from God.

We danced at the Embassy tonight with 9 little girls...for a wedding. Worshipping God through dance. It's how I best connect with Him. In less than 12 hours we are going caving. I gotta go! Good night!

Poop falling from the air

Yep...that's what happened today. You see we have a puppy!!! Yay! Well actually we are watching the dog, Morgan, until Christmas. It's a gift a friend of ours is giving to her kids. This fuffy creature is the runt of her litter, only a few pounds and already potty trained (almost). She has be taught to pee on a pan that is covered in newspaper and doing well. However, this type of pottytraining has some down falls. You see, every piece of newspaper on the floor is considered her terriorty now. The other night she peed on a magazine and tonight I caught her about to go "number two" on today's news! Well...I guess it was coming out already because I picked her up and carried half way to her real outhouse when all of sudden "plop, plop, plop" all over the carpet. My cousin, sister and Mom all just looked at me and then laughter filled the room. Funny! Good thing it was solid masses.


Okay so on a more serious note, I am struggling. With what? I don't know. My sister and I are getting ready to dance to this amazing song next week called "My Beloved". Such a powerful song, but I am feeling distant from God at the moment and that doesn't help. Plus my sister is SO good and appears perfect compared to me. Sigh. I know it is not true but that is how it feels to me. She is so wonderful at dancing and working with kids and even thinking and speaking her mind. I want to do this dance for God and allow my walls to crumble. I am tired. It is time for bed.

Snow!

The ground is covered in white fluff that turns slick if squashed down. Perfect for sliding on. Tonight went sledding with friends. The crisp night air and screaming as the wind blows, going faster and faster down the steep hill. Blonk! Once again turned over, but not hurt. Laughter and smiles and racing up the incline to go again...only your feet don't have traction so slipping and sliding you eventually make it...trying to keep up with the pace of an eight year old. Building a snowman and adding a snow puppy. So cute and cuddly and COLD! Hot warm Chai. Deep discussions...emotions, thoughts, trying to think critically. Life is good.

Now home in the middle of the night. Separating the snow from the cement. SCRAP. Shhhh! Don't want to wake the neighbors. I like shoving snow. Stars bright and silence around me. Trees glowing with firefly lights. Diamond snow sparkling. Pushing hard and watching the icy snow roll up as it heads over to meet their cousins in the growing pile. Thankful for strength and endurance and health.

Questionaire

I am a quarter of a century old
I want to live life to the fullest and truly live for God
I wish I understood more and had a sharper mind
I have an amazing family and strong group of friend I can count on
I had an excellent college education
I hate leaving things undone or not being in control
I fear dying in an accident of sorts...like on an airplane!
I hear the keyboard, computer fan and refrigerator
I search for a better understanding of who I am and where I can best serve God
I wonder where I will be in a year
I love being with people and being creative
I am not very observent and have a hard time stating my opinions at times
I dance for God and to express myself to him...it's the best way I know to feel close to him and for him to calm my soul. It brings a smile to my face and helps me to know I CAN fully trust God
I sing for joy to songs on the radio
I cry mostly with God alone...although it would be nice if I could let other people in
I am not always perfect, but I wish I was...I don't know why...maybe because I love to please others
I write to express myself and process and need to do more, but I don't like to write so I don't
I win at games and contests more than the average person...don't know why...
I lose lots of items when I am tired, stress or sometimes...I am just not paying attention
I confuse my words and mix things up and I do hate this
I need clear directions and honest people
I shouldn't sleep in as much